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Oh, Christmas Tree!


It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas

We must have a tree,

Chop, chop

And the earth warms up another degree.


There’s profit to be made selling Christmas trees,

Pound after pound after pound,

Advertise and let them come in thousands

To chop a forest down.


Cut off the tree’s roots,

Disconnect it from the earth,

We must do this

Because of the Saviour’s birth.


Let’s stand it in our hot, stuffy rooms

And spray on lots of fake snow

Let’s festoon the tree with twinkling lights

It’s Christmas… ho, ho, ho.


Let’s cover it with tinsel

And bows silver and red,

Let’s stop it absorbing carbon dioxide

It doesn’t matter if it’s dead.


Over time its needles fall softly

Until it’s a shadow of what it used to be,

Now Christmas is over, don’t get the ‘hump’

Let’s get rid of the denuded tree down at the dump.


Please rest ye, merry gentlemen,

Let our trees give us vital oxygen

Summers will be too hot

With nary a breeze.

There’ll be no shade and no haven for wildlife,

If we continue to cut down trees.